It's been so long since I started crushing ass and enslaving the elements that I don't quite know where to begin.
Oh wait, I do.
I came out of my mother's womb riding a fucking motorcycle. My dad hired Thin Lizzy to play my birthing. Both Thin Lizzy and the doctors at the hospital agreed that my birthing was most rockin'.
Around the age of six I began beating up werewolves for their lunch money.
At the age of ten I announced over the intercom at school that I was the first student in my class to grow dick hairs. All the female teachers agreed.
By the time I was fourteen I had fucked more babes than my dad. And my dad fucked a lot.
When I was 17 I went to a Motorhead show. At that show Lemmy dedicated "Ace of Spades" to the first nine years of my life, out of respect.
On my 21st birthday I drag-raced a mummy.
To celebrate me turning a quarter of a century old, France called and apologized.
When I turned 30 I paid the Shriner's Circus to set me on fire. Fire doesn't burn me. It just makes me play more guitar solos.
That's a basic history of me, Chet Fucking Thunder. This is the first of many thunder fuckings.
You just got wet. Chet wet.
can you please post an archive of your top 10 myspace blogs? ps- what's school work? you're a dick.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteheh heh heh. Chet Wet.
ReplyDeletedid you win the drag race with the mummy?
ReplyDeleteJesus C Christ.
ReplyDeleteWhat did i just read and can i re read it again, over and over?
Yes. You may read it. Over and over and over again.
ReplyDeleteAnd, yes, Nicki, I'll work on a compendium of "myspace days" for you.
ReplyDelete